Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
