I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
