He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
