Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize
