Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
