i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
