I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
