Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
