Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
