I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
