Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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