i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
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I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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