She's JV to your varsity
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
