whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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