Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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