I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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