I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
