He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
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He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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