Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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