I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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