i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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