You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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