I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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