I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
