I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
