It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."