wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.