I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now