i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
In America we eat man semen.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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