My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize