somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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