this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
