i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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