When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize