Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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