So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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