her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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