what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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