My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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