think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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