sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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