Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We need to get me chipped asap
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
