You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
