That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
