you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
