Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
