Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize