I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
