Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
