ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my liver is dry heaving
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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