I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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