Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Church boner. Awkwardddd
is this the sara with the beer cane?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
