I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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