I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I need water and some morals
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