how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize