New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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