Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
