I'm jealous of your bromance
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think my moral compass just broke
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
