My brain says no but my pants say off.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize